We all have them, the embarrassing stories that go hand in hand with being a parent.
Most of which include children saying or doing something, generally concerning wee, poo and vomit in this house; but hey we don’t discriminate apparently.
I have a lot more then 5 but I thought I’d trim it down a little (a lot) for you all.
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1: My daughter had this thing with ‘farting’ we call it fluffing in our house (there’s the childcare teacher in me coming out). Although around this time she had also decided that she needed to follow up every ‘fluff’ with saying “wow, pooooooey” and other notions about poo.
That’s all well and good, until you take said child in to a changing room with you, of course they were all packed at the time to. After performing some acrobatics to try on something that was clearly to small for me I bent over and yep, ‘fluffed’ it was quiet enough but I was embarrassed regardless. I thought (very stupidly) that was the end of it, oh no of course not. My toddler decided to start shouting about mummy fluffing, along with “Pooooey mum, poo poo head, you fluffing mummy” I was mortified.
2: Breast milk.. Oh the joys of being able to produce milk for your newborn daughter, right? Until you do so when you’re not prepared. I had ran up to the shops to grab a few things and had completely forgotten to put some breast pads on. I didn’t think anything of it until I caught my reflection in a shop window and realised that although I hadn’t noticed, it would have been very hard for everyone around me not to realise that I was in fact leaking all over the place. There was not even a way to play it off as wearing a wet bikini either. Needless to say I left the shop without the items I needed.
3: My daughter clearly didn’t get the memo that I enjoy going to the toilet by myself, in fact I’m sure she must think I will get lonely. Every time I go I have my trusty sidekick with me (whether I like it or not). So it was my time of the month and at the time I had a pad on; I should have known I couldn’t get that past her “Mummy you wear a nappy” I figured it was easier to just agree and tell her sometimes. The following day we were out at the shops and I had to go to the toilet, of course she had to come and again she noticed the pad but I figured since we already discussed it; it would be fine. Oh how wrong I was, with so much concern on her face she hysterically asked “mummy, you okay your nappy is bleeding” and “you got an ouchie mummy?” I quickly told her that yes I was fine hoping to stop the conversation. Apparently she thought I wanted her to keep repeating herself until we were out of the toilets and washing our hands.
4: Have you ever toilet trained a toddler? Well we were in the process of toilet training and with a newborn attached to me as well; we decided to have a potty in the lounge room with us in case we couldn’t get to the bathroom in time. Savannah was/is a child who gets extremely excited when she uses the toilet/potty (possibly because she has her own personal cheerleading squad when she does) but on this specific day she had done a wee on the potty and was super excited to share the news with anyone who would listen… in walks the Coles delivery man. Who while being polite was also very uncomfortable by the fact my child would not stop shouting at him that she had done a wee on the potty. This was followed up by her attempting to carry the potty to him to show him said wee. Oh yeah, she was proud and I was apologetic and red faced enough for all three of us.
5: Okay okay, so this is not so much my embarrassing story. BUT it is my partner’s and what’s his is mine, it is way too good of a moment not to share.
Our first born was constantly (CONSTANTLY) constipated and we had to do it all from warm baths, prune juice, massage, heated oil and of course bicycle legs. If you don’t know what bicycle legs are; they are pretty much exactly what they sound like. You hold on to bubs ankles and rotate their legs as if they were sitting on a bike peddling.
So there my partner is with Savannah on the edge of the bed, his kneeling down in front of her and his working her legs back and forth doing the pedaling. This continued for a few minutes and then he would gently push her legs up (as if he was going to touch her toes to her head) and of course this was the exact moment she decided to let it go. To let it all go, directly at him and in to his open mouth at that. He was of course disgusted and rightly so, I on the other hand could not catch my breath after laughing hysterically.
Okay, there you have it; five moments that are not my proudest. But with parenting comes so many tears and I like to think a huge portion of ours are happy tears. Reliving some crazy moments.
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